The Washington Post – “Daters say they don’t tolerate racial bias. Their actions say they do have racial preferences.” by Damona Hoffman
In this powerful Washington Post article, Francesca Hogi joins other dating experts in confronting the often-ignored topic of racial preferences in dating. The piece explores how unconscious bias shows up in romantic choices and challenges daters to examine whether their actions align with their values.
Francesca shares how code words like “all-American” and “exotic” often serve as veiled racial indicators, and she reflects on how lived experience shapes her clients' preferences. Notably, she explains that:
“For my Black clients, usually their preference is based on who they think will like them. They often don’t have the experience of being asked out by white men, so they assume these men aren’t interested.”
She also highlights the dual concern many Black daters face—fear of being fetishized, or the emotional labor of having to explain their lived experience.
This piece is a bold call to anyone who claims to value equity and inclusion: our dating lives must be part of that conversation, too.