How to Actually Date Online Without Wasting Your Time

“Online dating” is kind of a misnomer, because you’re not actually dating until you’ve started going on, you know - dates. When you’re meeting someone for the first time who you’ve connected with online, there are some best practices to follow, especially for women.

Tip #7

It might be considered boring to some, but your first date should be low-cost and low time commitment. This is for your benefit. No matter how amazing someone might seem online, you can’t really know until you’ve met in person.

A coffee or drink date is only boring if you are. Get your coffee to go and take a walk together. Have a drink at a fun bar (where you can still hear each other).

Your first date should NOT be:

  • Dinner (or any other meal)

  • A show

  • A sporting event

  • Anything where you’re making a commitment of hours of your time.

Similarly, first dates should be in an easily accessible public place.

It should go without saying not to give out your address (but I’ll say it anyway). Don’t let someone you don’t yet know pick you up. Arrange your own transportation and meet somewhere you feel safe.

If possible, schedule a “hard out” so you have to leave the date after an hour.

When you really hit it off with someone, I know how easy it can feel to keep talking, let drinks turn into dinner, etc. Especially when it’s been awhile since you made that kind of connection with someone.

Rather than being sad about having a short date, look at it this way - if you really hit it off, it’ll be SO exciting to see them again for a full-blown date!

If someone doesn’t want to see you again after a fun date, it could be because either they weren’t that into you even though they had a good time (their loss!) OR that they know you’re looking for something more serious than they are.

It can feel like a complete bummer when a promising first date goes nowhere. Just know that you’re one person closer to meeting YOUR person.

See you tomorrow for the final post of this series!

xo

Francesca