55 Essential Pieces Of Dating Advice
1. Embrace serendipity -- As long as there are other humans, there is the potential for you to meet someone to date, or someone who might introduce you to someone to date. Get excited about the possibilities!
2. Let your uniqueness shine through-- No one ever fell in love with someone because they were just like everyone else. What makes you unique is what makes you beautiful.
3. Take a smartphone break -- If being in public = constant status updating, Instagram liking and email checking, you're decreasing your chances for serendipity to happen. And if you're on a date - it's beyond rude!
4. Get comfortable with eye contact -- It feels intimate, which is why it's the best way to flirt, to invite someone to approach you and to connect with someone once you're actually getting to know each other.
5. Talk to strangers -- You'll get into the habit of connecting with new people, which is a good thing if you're hoping to meet someone new!
6. Get a shtick -- If you never approach anyone because you don't know what to say, practice an icebreaker if that's what it takes to make you feel comfortable! Even Maverick needed a shtick to talk to Kelly McGinnis in Top Gun!
7. Make someone's day -- Most people are happy to receive a respectful, genuine compliment. Don't say "hey - nice ass" (that's harassment), but "I love your smile/tie/earrings/dress/sunglasses/hat" is going to be welcome 99% of the time.
8. Ask interesting questions -- When you meet someone out in the world, don't default to "so, what do you do?" Try something unexpected like "If you could go on an all-expense paid trip anywhere in the world but you have to leave today, where would you go?"
9. Smile -- So basic, so revolutionary -- too often forgotten.
10. Find your flirting style - Flirting is essentially a way of making a person feel special and acknowledged. It's super important for building intimacy! What works for you? Playfulness? Compliments? Physical touch? Find it and perfect it!
11. Identify your sexy -- What's your most magnetic trait? Play it up!
12. Be a wingman/wingwoman -- Nothing inspires others to hook you up like hooking them up first.
13. Make friends with your local shopkeeper/bartender/mailman - It makes the world a better place and you'll be more relaxed around people you know (even casually), which will make you more approachable.
14. Keep an open mind - Do not be quick to judge. So what if he's shorter or heavier/thinner/doesn't have a beard/has a beard/is wearing a weird shirt? A few minutes of conversation might cause you to see that person in a whole new light, if you're open to the possibility!
15. Throw out your crappy clothes - If you don't feel good wearing it, donate it or trash it. If you feel good, you'll look good.
16. Travel -- Travel opens you up to new people, new experiences and new romantic opportunities!
17. Exercise -- Meeting someone on the running trail/gym/yoga mat is an easy in/common ground. Plus you'll be healthier and have more energy!
18. Sleep -- You'll feel better, you'll look better, you'll be more alert and have more energy. All good, attractive outcomes!
19. Make new friends -- Every person you'll ever meet knows someone you don't know. One (or more) of those someones might be super compatible with you!
20. Get back in touch with your old friends -- Don't write off the people you already know but aren't close to - "weak" social ties are key to expanding your network.
21. Go places you don't normally go -- Travel out of your way to see that museum you've always meant to visit, or to go to that new pizza place everyone is raving about. See #1.
22. Get a new hobby -- Passion and enthusiasm are super attractive - so try something new, just for the sake of getting excited. It could be learning French on YouTube or taking a horseback riding class. It doesn't matter so long as you're into it!
23. Ask your friends for feedback - If they love you and you trust them, they could have some productive insight as to how you're sabotaging your chances at love that you can't see.
24. Look for the good - Do an exercise where you observe and appreciate positive behavior. For instance, if you see a man holding the door open for someone, acknowledge it!
25. Look for the beautiful -- Play a game where you try to identify one attractive thing about every person you see. It could be their smile, their hair, their style, their eyebrows - everyone's got something! Get in the habit of focusing on the positive.
26. Be generous -- Give of yourself and of your time and people will notice. The right people will find it very sexy!
27. Learn how to take a compliment - If you can't graciously say thank you, expect people to stop offering them up.
28. Be who you want to attract - If you really want to meet triathletes, start training! If you want someone spiritually enlightened, focus on your own spiritual enlightenment and you'll begin to attract likeminded people.
29. Find your tribe -- If you don't have a supportive community of people around you, find a new one! The happier you are, the more attractive you are.
30. Re-evaluate your dealbreakers -- Are they truly essential? Are you really willing to miss out on an incredible partner who might happen to already have a child/be shorter than 6'/not have a college degree?
31. Give people an excuse to talk to you -- If you love big red hats, guaranteed someone is going to want to ask you about it if you wear one!
32. Be courteous -- You never know who might have liked you until they saw how rudely you spoke to your waiter.
33. Curtail the complaining -- Nothing is unsexier than someone who has a problem with everything.
34. Allow for attraction to grow -- You don't have to instantly want to pounce on someone to determine whether you should date them. Sometimes it takes a little while for the spark to ignite!
35. Do your part to create chemistry - Chemistry doesn't always "just" happen - it happens because two people are open and actively engaging with one another. Don't be passive - be a participant!
36. Have self-compassion -- The more gently you view yourself, the more gently you'll view other people.
37. Keep your bitterness to yourself -- Or better yet, release it. Someone who is just getting to know you doesn't need to hear about how terrible your ex was.
38. Focus on what you do want, not on want you don't -- Don't waste your energy talking about and focusing on what you don't want! It's not attractive and it makes you sound negative.
39. Ditch the clichés -- If you're "just as comfortable in high heels as in sneakers", find a more creative way to convey that.
40. Aim to learn something new about your date -- Everyone you will ever meet knows something you don't know. Find out what some of those things are!
41. Don't play it cool - If you're afraid that someone won't want to date you if they know you're looking for something serious, better you find that out now and not get attached to someone who can't/won't give you what you're looking for.
42. Know your values-- The more you know what is truly important, the easier it is to ignore what isn't.
43. Don't be superficial -- Of course you have preferences. Everyone does. But if you're only judging people based on outward appearances, expect to attract people who do the same to you.
44. Take responsibility for your choices -- Your terrible ex? At one time you chose that person. It's OK, there are always lessons to be learned and if you take the time to learn them, you'll do better next time.
45. Don't aim for perfection - Not perfection for yourself, and not perfection in anyone else. We're all perfectly imperfect, and that's what makes us human!
46. Honor what sex means to you - If you know that sleeping with someone is going to make you feel bonded to that person, don't do it unless you've established you're on the same page.
47. Be a 3rd wheel -- If my mother hadn't been out with a girlfriend and her boyfriend, she never would have met my father, who was a friend of the boyfriend!
48. Let people know you're looking -- Don't be afraid to put your intention out there. You never know what kind of opportunities might present themselves if people know meeting someone is a priority for you.
49. Don't succumb to societal/peer pressure -- If you're feeling stressed because everyone you know is married or wants to know why you're not, find a healthy way to cope. Accept that everyone is on their own journey and take pride in yours.
50. Take it offline -- Online dating is an awesome way to meet people. But it should be one tool, not the whole kit and caboodle. Flex those real-world muscles as well!
51. Get creative about your date activities -- If you're going on a lot of dates, that's great! But it can also be tedious to do the same things over and over and it can get expensive to do dinner and drinks three nights a week. Find new activities that are out of the ordinary - it can be as simple as getting ice cream and walking through the park or going mini-golfing.
52. Switch it up -- Have your last 10 dates been with personal trainers, guys you met while you were out drinking, or investment bankers? Break your patterns and be open to dating someone not your "type." And if your pattern is not dating at all? Push yourself to do something differently!
53. Be true to yourself - Don't "go along just to get along" - if your values are being compromised, speak up and walk away if necessary.
54. Be grateful -- If someone is respectful and interested in you, be grateful. Even if they're not for you, isn't it nice to know they saw something amazing in you?
55. Release entitlement -- You might feel you "should" be able to date whoever you want. If you want to change who you're attracting, start with looking at how you're showing up in the world. It all starts with you. And that's a good thing!
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