Part 1 - How to Actually Meet Someone Online and Not Swipe Into the Void

Hi there!

Over the next eight days I am going to share my 8-part guide to online dating. Because, let’s face it - there are tens of millions of people in the U.S. alone who are as likely to meet someone online as I am to qualify for the U.S. gymnastics team.

But unlike me being a 5’11” middle aged non-gymnast, those people CAN meet someone online. They just won’t because they’re doing online dating all wrong.

The tips in this post are for you only if you’re using online dating (or thinking about using online dating) as a tool to help you find love.

If you’re looking for hookups or to use dating apps for an ego boost, no judgments - but this advice doesn’t apply to you.

Since you’re still reading, that tells me that you’re prioritizing genuine connection over superficial interactions. Everything you do online should align with this goal.

MOST PEOPLE ARE TERRIBLE AT ONLINE DATING. But not you! At least, not if you follow these tips.

Here we go:

#Tip 1 Begin With The End In Mind

Keeping the end, or “long game” in mind means:

  • NOT misrepresenting yourself in any material way - age, education, marital status, profession, etc.

  • NOT pretending to want something you don’t - if you are looking for love, don’t “play it cool” and act like you’re not.

  • NOT retouching your photos to make yourself look thinner or younger or otherwise different than you look right now.

  • NOT using outdated photos.

  • NOT using group photos. (No hiding!)

The end game is meeting and connecting with someone who wants YOU - as you are, right now. Someone who wants you and wants the same things as you. If you want kids, don’t be shy about it and pretend you don’t. What’s the point? Attracting someone who doesn’t want kids when you do is self-sabotaging.

Retouched photos might get you more matches, but why put yourself in the position of someone being disappointed when they see you?? That’s one of the great mysteries (and frustrations) of online dating. Don’t be that person.

If you have a dating profile up somewhere - anywhere - Tinder, Bumble, Match, OKCupid, wherever - go review it right now. Including your photos. Are you guilty of any of the don’ts above? Is your profile an accurate reflection of who you are and what you’re seeking?

If not, I implore you to fix it! Trust me on this one. See you tomorrow for Part 2!